He referred to his projects rather ecumenically as items. Although each was minutely embedded in particularity, the overwhelming force of his attention rendered them in some sense uniform.

Resolutions, born of regret, nightly, always betrayed the next day.

1) thought
2) first draft
3) revision
4) deletion

Is any word more ominous than the word ominous?

By the time you get her attention, the bartender already seems annoyed. You’re getting that a lot lately. You expect it, really. You give her a short nod, turn and head out into the rain. You’ve come down with your third cold of the season and there seems to be something wrong with your legs. Your father died 20 years ago today. The earnest, dignified man you remember could be your brother now. Limping home in your wet coat, almost comical in your desolation, you wonder. In 20 years, will anyone raise a toast in your memory?

Observed in the waiting room of the School of Osteopathic Medicine:
1) Man in vomit-splashed pajama top, repeatedly asserting that he is both a lawyer and a doctor
2)

You discover too late the meaning of too late.

No idea
Who the fuck knows
It’s anyone’s guess
Fuck if I know

Far too finely wrought to be good.

One warm summer night when he was fifteen years old, he lit a cigarette on a dry hillside near San Bernadino, California. After all these years, he still couldn’t bear to confront the  destruction caused by that simple thoughtless act—yet he did, unceasingly. How many times had he gone to bed hoping to not wake up? But dying wouldn’t help; he would need to have never been born.

His grand opus, a masterpiece of omission.

He stopped seeing them after realizing their kindness came more from pity than affection or respect.

Their love still superseded their obvious mutual loathing.

Walking around at the end of winter sighting fellow orphans—diminished piles of snow and dog shit—and mouthing a silent greeting. Hello friend, somehow we made it through.

In the daytime you cling to life with fierce desperation, but you often go to bed not caring if you ever wake up.

Don’t look away. The ugly beauty might surprise you.