It took many years to understand how short a year is.

The wind, always present, but only its effects visible.

I am convinced, after years of study, that surfing is the truest model of incarnate existence. Not that I’ve ever surfed, or could explain the justifications for my statement. That would take years.

We usually tried to avoid his visits, which often felt weighted with some unspecified tension or grievance. Later I learned that throughout this period he’d been in dreadful pain, and that our times together had been among the few things that distracted him from his suffering.

How did you get this far without learning anything? Flattery doesn’t mean they love you. This is business. They will pick your bones dry.

Today as I rounded the bend into the clearing I ran into J with his three little dogs. I hadn’t seen him in two years. As I raised my hand in greeting it became obvious he didn’t know who I was. At first I guessed two more years of drinking and medications might finally have finished off his memory, but now, thinking of his uncharacteristically clear eyes and almost sheepish demeanor, as if presenting himself too nakedly to the world, I think he was sober. He was sober, while I was still in the fog. When I asked how long they were staying, he was evasive. I don’t blame him. If I ran into me, I’d avoid myself, too.

His last words were, does fish sauce go in the refrigerator, but she didn’t hear them. She was in the shower.

When someone says, ‘People either love me or they hate me,’ it’s usually the latter.

Everything is of its time. How glorious; what a pity.

Our moments together were uniformly unpleasant, but I was grateful for every one.

Your thoughts and words become your prison walls.
Luckily someone has left the key.

Hearing these happy songs after so many years. False memories of an ease you never acquired.

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