Yesterday Doeg and I went to our special place—to the little dirt area beside the tree. Because of allergies, Doeg has chewed off most of his hair. On the way home, heard a young mother say to baby: look, honey, look at the pretty—recoiling as Doeg emerged from behind the car. Still thinking about the look on his face: apologetic.

I know where this is going.

Last week we had dinner together for the first time in 20 years. In the long run, gravity always wins.

The interview consisted of a single question: What is your comfort level with not knowing? After a long pause, he said, I don’t know. The right answer, apparently.

The new merged corporation will be headquartered everywhere and will cut 100% of its workforce.

There was an uneasiness between us. They always gave me booze for Christmas. It was the one thing they knew I liked.

The collection exclusively featured images of mayhem and disaster.

He may have been a shit, but he objected to the word “total.”

The work is inconsistent; not of a piece; in violation of its own precepts; insufficiently committed.

When someone tells you ‘it is what it is’,
what they really mean is ‘fuck you.’

He drove past the old house on the way to the liquor store. The familiar bay window above the porch, where she used to sit waiting when he came home. Halfway down the block he had to pull over. He couldn’t go forward, and he couldn’t go back.

When the anguish of youth meets the resignation of age.

Over the years the simple act of finding the precise words had seemed to mitigate his inner collapse. But they weren’t the right words; he’d been a fool.

You fail to avoid an old coworker on street, and just shake your head in greeting. It’s been that kind of year.

My note of condolence marked the beginning of the end of our friendship. Evidently grief over the loss of a cat doesn’t yield a permissible amount of insight into the the death of someone’s parent.

Although he thought of himself as a “regular” there, he always had to wait to be seated. One night as the hostess went looking for his table, he snuck a look at the note next to his reservation. It said asshole.

Book II:
After the booze ran out.